i have to say that i am a little addicted to blogging now. its taken full replacement of my usual journal. i just got back to salt lake from my "real" summer back at home. i cant call summer, summer, when spent anywhere outside of lagunaa.. the drive home has actually become something that i dont 100% dread for the first time in my life. it kinda now a time for me to just listen to my music and think. think about life, love, all of my friends getting married, (does that mean that im supposed to be ready to get married? cuz i am definately not.) my family (am i going to be able to raise one in this messed up world?), school (will i ever ever finish? how am i going to pay for it?), my career (is all of that schooling going to be worth it?), friends (why do friendships have to be so hard? how come everyone cant be friends? how did i get so lucky with the ones that i found?), nannying in england possibly, church, work, life.. who knows if ill ever know the answers to all, if any of those questions. so as for now im going to remind myself that i am true to myself. i am alive. and that i need to take a second to remember that and to breathe.